Interview with The Man Monday night

Dungeon Crawlers Radio interviews The Man Monday, March 8th at 10:30 PM MTN. You can listen live or to the archive they’ll post to their site. All brought to you by UtahFM. Malak and Revan are great guys. I had a blast with them.

Cool facts on breaking in, advances, etc. for writers

New page on writing facts & figures in the On Writing section.

Novel update

CURSE OF A DARK GOD is moving along. You should see the progress bar move along quite a bit this week.

Initial Schedule for American Fork Arts Council Conference for Writers

This is a cheap day-long writers conference and looks like it’s going to be another great one.  I’ve highlighted what I’ll be doing in red. I’ll be making adjustments to the HOW TO WRITE A STORY THAT ROCKS presentation for things learned at LTUE.

Here’s their website. That night I’ll probably be attending the Whitney Awards Gala which is also being held down in Happy Valley, Utah.

DATE: Saturday April 24 2010

8-9 a.m. Registration
9-9:10 Welcome (Plenary)

KEYNOTES
9:10-9:40 Keynote #1 Ginger Churchill, “What I Wish I had Known as a Beginning Writer”
9:40-10:10 Keynote #2 Ally Condie, “My Journey to National Publication”
10:10-10:40 John D. Brown, “Aiming for National Publication”

INTRODUCTIONS of editors and authors
10:40-11:05 EDITORS: Derk Koldewyn, Granite NAME
AUTHORS: Caleb Warnock, Linda Jefferies, Shannon Guymon

11:05-11:20 15-minute break

11:20-noon BREAKOUT ONE
Upstairs room “Crafting the Novel” with Shannon Guymon, John D. Brown
Downstairs One “Finding and Working With an Agent” with Ginger Churchill, Ally Condie, Caleb Warnock
Downstairs Two “Taking Your Questions about Publishing” with Deseret Book and Granite Publishing

noon-1 LUNCH “Mix and Mingle with Authors and Editors”

1-1:40 BREAKOUT TWO
Conference One Derk Koldewyn of Deseret Book “What Deseret Book is looking for now”
Conference Two Ginger Churchill “How to Write and Publish Picture Books”
Upstairs room John Brown, “How to Write a Story That Rocks Part 1: First Principles & Story Concept”
Office room Caleb Warnock “10 Things Every Writer Should Know about Copyright”
Downstairs One Granite Publishing “What Granite is looking for now”
Downstairs Two Ally Condie “Writing Young Adult Fiction”

1:40-1:50 Ten-minute break

1:50-2:30 BREAKOUT THREE
Upstairs Room John Brown, “How to Write a Story That Rocks Part 2: Character”
Conference Two Ginger Churchill “Genres of Children’s Books, from Board Books to YA Novels”
Conference One Derk Koldewyn of Deseret Book “National Publication with Shadow Mountain”
Office room Caleb Warnock “How to Write the Query Letter”
Downstairs One Granite Publishing “Publishing Options with Granite”
Downstairs Two Shannon Guymon “How to Write Romance”

2:30-2:40 Ten-minute break

2:40-3:20 BREAKOUT FOUR
Upstairs Room John Brown, “How to Write a Story That Rocks Part 3: Plot”
Conference Two Ginger Churchill “How to be a Writer and a Mother Too”
Conference One Linda Jefferies “Writing Poetry”
Office room Caleb Warnock “Write a Synopsis? I’d Rather Gouge My Eyes Out!”
Downstairs One Ally Condie “Succeeding as an LDS author”
Downstairs Two Shannon Guymon “Writing Nonfiction”

3:20-3:30 Ten-minute break

3:30-4:10 BREAKOUT FIVE
Upstairs Room John Brown, “Writing Scenes: The Basic Units of a Novel”
Conference Two Ginger Churchill “Querying Agents and Publishers”
Conference One Linda Jefferies “Publishing Poetry”
Office room Caleb Warnock “Okay, You Were Rejected – Why, and What to Do Now”
Downstairs One “How to form a critique group that works”
Downstairs Two Shannon Guymon “Succeeding as an LDS Author”

4:10-4:20 PRIZE GIVEAWAYS, GOODBYE

REVISED (MAY CHANGE)

Folks, a huge thanks goes to Stephen Nelson for putting all this together. You may kiss his hand when you see him.

This is a recording of “How to Write a Story that Rocks,” a two-hour seminar Larry Correia and I just put on at the annual BYU’s Life, The Universe, & Everything symposium. I think we had 130-140 people attend. This symposium is focused on writing fiction. And while the panels and presentations do include things specific to the science fiction, horror, and fantasy genres (both adult and young adult), a lot of time is also spent on story writing fundamentals that apply to ALL genres. So when I developed this workshop, I made sure I took the fundamental approach.

The two-hour seminar has been broken down into 12 segments. To switch between the segments:

• Hover your mouse pointer over the YouTube below
• Click the forward and back arrows that appear on the right and left sides to move to the next or previous segment, OR 
• Scroll through all 12 segments and select the one you want using the playlist control at the bottom

If you prefer, you can watch all 12 on the How to Write a Story that Rocks YouTube playlist page.

I’ve found whenever I develop any presentation or training that it takes a few iterations and revisions before it’s the best it can be. This is the first iteration of this seminar. And so below this video I’ve provided additional comments on each segment explaining key concepts, principles, and techniques that we might have failed to discuss or convey as clearly as we’d hoped. Enjoy!

Handout

How to Write a Story That Rocks – Handout

Segment 1

It’s documented–right-wing gun nut Larry Correia sang “Kumbaya.” What’s next? The hugging of small trees? Oh, Larry, the disilluion. The disillusion.

The reason why I had Larry sing was not for his mellifluous performance, but to demonstrate the difference in reactions between him and our happy volunteer (“Country Road” by John Denver–this really was a love fest). The volunteer balked because he hadn’t taken any thought to know what to sing before he was commanded to do so. On the other hand, Larry and I had spoken before the seminar. So Larry had something to sing BEFORE he sang it. It’s a simple demonstration, but it illustrates a principle a lot of new writers forget. Writing is a performance. It helps to know what it is you’re going to perform before you perform it.

It’s one thing for you to tell yourself to write. It’s much easier to tell yourself to write the scene where the rancher finds out one of his illegal ranch hands has been kidnapped.

Now this doesn’t mean that you have to know everything. Or that you can’t write exploratory drafts to figure out what it is you want to write. But it does illustrate that whatever techniques you use, you’ll be a lot more effective in your writing when you have something to say first.

But what do you develop? What are the things that bring the story to life? How do you go about getting those things to say? That’s precisely what I wanted to address in the seminar. In the segments that follow, I try to:

1. Explain what I’ve found are the most important things to develop, the things that define the essence of story, that make the story come alive in the writer’s mind–the things that really matter
2. Demonstrate techniques to develop those things so you have something to say

Segment 2

I think this segment went fairly well. What rocks will different from person to person, even though there will often be a huge overlap between people. So it’s important for authors to seek to develop the kinds of stories that rouse their passion. Watch this interview with best seller Debbie Macomber to see what I mean. So I can’t tell you what to write about. Or if whath you think rocks will resonate with a large number of people. However, what I can do is share the techniques I use that have been most productive in helping me develop initial ideas into something that has much more power.

You can use the techniques to juice up any of the four parts of story. However, I will say that I find that the most productive, the most important parts, are character and problem. Plot and setting are important. I love them and work to juice them up. But when I get a good character and problem, that’s when the writing seems to flow the easiest.

And no, I don’t list theme as a part of story. Everyone talks about theme, but when I read what they have to say or press them for examples, it seems that it always either boils down to (1) a story element or topic that’s repeated, (2) a story problem/issue stated in an abstract manner, or (3) some moral situation. Les Miserables is about the “theme” of mercy versus justice. But saying justice versus mercy is just an abstraction of the story problem and dilemmas the story deals with. So, no theme. 

Segment 3

I’ll be adding my comments to the rest of these segments over the next few days.

Segment 4

Segment 5

Segment 6

Segment 7

Segment 8

Segment 9

Segment 10

Segment 11

Segment 12

Dan Wells on Story Structure

Check it out: Dan Wells on How to Build a Story (story structure). I find Dan’s “start with the ending” technique helpful as well as thinking about a worst fears realized moment. Watch the videos and see if there isn’t something there that can help you develop your story idea.

You can get the PowerPoint of How to Build a Story on Dan’s site.

If you find this approach useful, you might want to check out what novelist Larry Brooks has written about the same material on StoryFix.com.

I had an absolute BLAST with Larry and the audience at LTUE. I think the workshop went very well for the first time. Of course, I’m going to make some tweaks. Paul Genesse had some interesting feedback and I’ll have to see if I can’t do more with character. Two hours is such a short period of time.

The good news for those who couldn’t attend is that we have a recording and will be posting probably next week. Everyone should thank Stephen Nelson!

We ran out of handouts. I printed 80. Then Mark Holt generously had 30 more printed. We still didn’t have enough. For those of you who didn’t get one or who want an electronic copy, here it is.

How to Write a Story That Rocks – Handout

If you’re a writer, you’ll find Life, The Universe, & Everything (LTUE) an excellent convention. Yes, it’s focused on science fiction and fantasy, but the principles of writing discussed apply generally and there are a lot of authors who will be there that write in different genres–YA, romance, etc. In fact, there will be a LOT of published authors there, period–including two that have recently been on the NY Times best seller list and others who have just broken in.

If I were an aspiring author, I’d be making sure I had arrangements to attend at least part of the convention. Follow the link above and look at the list of panel topics. And remember: it’s open to all and FREE of charge.

Dates: Feb 11-13, 2010
Wilkinson Center
Brigham Young University
Provo, UT 84602
(801) 422-4636 (BYU information line)

I’ll be doing the following. Hope to see you there!

BTW, Stephen Nelson has graciously offered to film the workshop. If the recording and class pass muster, we’ll post it for your viewing enjoyment!

Thursday, Feb 11

5 – 7 PM: Writing workshop: “How to Write a Story That Rocks” (John Brown, Larry Correia)

Friday, Feb 12

9 AM: Panel: ”Paths to publishing: When is traditional best and when should you try an alternative” (Stacy Whitman, John Brown, Dan Willis, Eric Swedin, Sandra Tayler)

Noon: I will be attending Dan Well’s Pacing and Story Structure presentation.

1 PM: Panel: “Killer Openings - How to write a gripping, engaging and interesting opening paragraph” (Dr. Steven C. Walker, John Brown, Mette Harrison, Heather Horrocks)

Saturday, Feb 13

9 AM: Panel: “A Guys Take on Writing Romance (Male Panelists)” (L. E. Modesitt, Jr., Clint Johnson, Aleta Clegg, Dan Willis, John Brown)

Noon: Panel: “Building different cultures….” (L. E. Modesitt, Jr., Roger White, John Brown, Brandon Mull, Marty Brenneis)

1 PM: Signing. (Wish very much I could go to Eric James Stone’s reading at the same time. I’ve gone to 2 or 3 of his and have never been disappointed)

2 PM: Reading from CURSE OF A DARK GOD.

Yesterday a man asked me to get naked.

It’s true, I can do that to some people. Not wanting to pass up any chance to go native, I agreed. Yes, I know what you’re thinking–these writers think they can bend all the rules! However, the man was a dermatologist. I was there to have this annoyance on my left ear checked. When he found out my sister had some skin cancer once (it appears I should have had my skin viewed annually), that’s when he became interested in my undressing. And in my glorious state of undress, well, with a “gown” that was about as big as a dish towel, he found this thing on my leg.

He’s like, “How long have you had that sore?”

I said, “That old thing, I don’t know, years.”

“Humm,” he said. He noted some odd moles that seemed to be of the happy and peaceful sort. Then he ordered a biopsy of my leg and my ear.

Don’t know the results of the leg yet. He suspects it’s not cancer, just some random mutant growth, which may be a result of the Lizard people that control our lives and which I learned about on book tour when I was at a Barnes & Noble in Arizona telling some folks my novel was about humans being ranched, and a glassy eyed dude sitting on a nearby chair stood up and said, “Your book is true! Your book is true!”

The biopsy of my ear demonstrated that I’m a squamous cell carcinoma head. I’m going to have a bit of Mohs micrographic surgery next Tuesday. He said we caught it very early. So I expect there to be no issues. In my mind it’s like finding a wart. True, this wart could spread. But it isn’t like they’re going to have to cut my ear off and replace it with that of a baboon.

Now, not only did I find Reptoid mutantcy yesterday, but I think the Reptoids have invaded the Logan, Utah police department. I say this because I went to the wrong hospital yesterday. I realized my mistake and zoomed off to the right one. There’s a hundred yard stretch along the road through fields. Lo and behold, after passing through that area, a short 4 seconds, I was pulled over by a cop who gave me a $240 speeding ticket for going 51 in a 30 mph zone. Does this not suggest to you some sort of conspiracy? To me it does. He’s obviously a Reptoid sympathizer.

Here’s more information for the curious.

Squamous cell carcinoma

http://www.aad.org/public/publications/pamphlets/sun_squamous.html

Mohs micrographic surgery

http://mohscollege.org/about/overview.php

Baboons

I think this clearly shows that what separates us from our primate cousins are brassieres and other articles of fine underwear. And as you can see here, they want them! Just another instance of sad human tyranny.

Look at this woman’s face. These are the kinds of people who they feature in horror movies. I think this must be part of casting. Put the actress in a car and see what she does with a troop of baboons. She sits and screams? Perfect. What, she taught them the meaning of roadkill? No, we don’t want anyone like that.

The Reptoids that Control our Lives and Prove My Book is True!

They live in the hollow part of the earth. Which is probably where the 10 Tribes of Israel went as well. And when they return we’ll have all sorts of lizard people high priests and prophets. Anything’s possible.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Icke (scroll down to “Reptilians and Shape-shifting”)

Entrances to hollow earth?

Are they real?

Folks, the first tentative schedule for Life, The Universe, & Everything (LTUE) has been set. For the past few years I’ve been teaching a 2-3 hour workshop called “The 3 Things You Must Learn To Write Killer Stories.” I think I must have taught it over 15 times in different venues. Hundreds have attended and said they loved it.

However, this year I’m going to be doing something different. I’m developing a new two-hour workshop called “How to Write a Story that Rocks.”

I’ll be teaching it Thursday evening, February 11th from 5 PM – 7 PM at LTUE at BYU. It’s FREE and open to all.

What I found was that a lot of new aspiring authors get lost in mountains of rules. But great storytelling isn’t about rules. They try to form stories with word counts, chapters, and weird plot diagrams. But stories aren’t about those things. They have a hard time knowing what to write next because they don’t understand how story works. In fact, some don’t know how to start at all. They just flounder in their piles of zing. Finally, even if they can get a bullet outline, they have a hard time turning that into a scene.

So what we’re going to do in this workshop is this.

1. I’m going to bring in some ideas for character, setting, and problem. We’re not going to generate from scratch as we’ve done in the past because I want to get to the next steps.
2. Then I’m going to teach you how to go from idea to outline–we’re going to do it together, and you’re going to learn exactly how to know what comes next 
3. Then we’ll go from outline step to scene sketch.
4. Then from scene sketch to draft.
5. At every step I’ll be pointing out key story development concepts and principles

When we finish, you should be able to:

1. Identify the essential story objectives and story development questions–get these right and the rest doesn’t really matter. This will include the HANDFUL of key things you need to worry about and develop with character and plot.
2. Develop more likeable and interesting characters
3. Develop more powerful story concepts (call it premise, problem, situation, whatever). Once you get this the story writes a lot of itself.
4. Explain the real Story Cycle. Not Campbell’s mumbo-jumbo hero’s journey. Not the three, five, seven, nine acts. Not Freytag’s diagram. Story.
5. Explain what it means to “move a story forward,” “increase the stakes and tension,” ”complicate the plot,” “complicate the motive” and how that’s done using surprise, conflict, motive, and problem. Included in this are “turns,” “rugpulls,” and “reversals.”
6. Use the Story Cycle concepts to generate a story bullet outline and take a bullet step idea and turn it into a scene.
7. Explain the creative principles that help you generate stories more easily.

Larry Correia will be there as well. So I’m expecting this to be a very helpful workshop. I’m going to do all I can to make it as good or better than the first.

Hope everyone who sees this has a wonderful holiday. I loved this song as a kid and still do. So instead of caroling in person, I’ll do it via a shamless commercial enterprise. Merry Cokemas.

So after finishing The Husband I wrote a letter to Dean Koontz. I never expected a reply. Today I got a package in the mail. I picked it up, thinking it was a book from Amazon. The sender was Mr. Dean Koontz. What? Dean Koontz?!

I opened it up. There was a form letter folded in half over a book. The part I read said:

At certain times of the year, I’m able to answer readers’ letters with a line or two, more personally than I am able to do right now. Currently I’m so overwhelmed by book and film deadlines that I’m going to have to resort to this less than satisfying form response.

I’m all, cool, a form letter and a book! He then talks about how he reads virtually all his letters even though he gets over 10,000 a year. Then he says he’s included a FAQ and his Useless News newsletter which talks about his latest books etc. The last part of the letter I could see was:

I hope you’ll understand why this less personal reply is necessary for the time being. And I hope

So I thought, hey. The man sent me a book. Holy cow. Talk about your customer service. Then I actually cut away the plastic wrapping and unfolded the letter and saw, despite his busyness, he had indeed written a note.

John–thanks for your great letter and kind words. Most of my career, I’ve been told–subtly and less than subtly–that my world view is that of a minority that won’t long–or much longer–sustain a large audience. Worldwide sales now are past 400 million copies. I tremble, wondering when it will all end! Congratulations on the TOR sale! From me to you, a book close to my heart.

Merry Christmas!

Dean

Duuuuude! And it wasn’t some admin either. The last paragraph of the letter says:

For what it’s worth, the signature below is mine. I don’t use legions of monkeys trained to forge my name, in part because they don’t seem quite smart enough to learn what’s wanted of them; and although dolphins are no doubt smart enough, they don’t have hands.

The signature is in blue ink. The same hand as the note. By this time I was totally geeking out.

Dean Koontz. He’s like one of the top 10 most popular novelests in the world. I LOVE his stuff. Then I opened the book. He’d signed it.

To John–WOOF. Dean Koontz 12-18-09

At that moment I was in total fanboy heaven. And I don’t do fanboy or any of that other wussy stuff.

I sent my letter on December 14th. 2 days down. 2 or 3 days back. That means he read it almost the day he got it. What a class act. And I was expecting nothing. I only sent my original letter because I truly appreciated his books and had to let him know.

So I guess one of the next books I’ll be reading is his A Big Little Life: A Memoir of a Joyful Dog. I expect it will be great.

BTW, here’s the text of my letter.

Dear Mr. Koontz,

I just finished reading The Good Guy. Thank you. Loved the interaction between Tim and Linda. And the reveals of their back stories. Loved Mary and Pete. Loved the situation. Krait was interesting and horrible. But the thing that put me over the top was the ending. [SPOILERS DELETED] I finished and said, “Yes!”

Thanks for the thousands of hours you’ve put into writing that have allowed you to deliver these kinds of stories and characters who are interesting, funny, and, despite some flaws, deep down good. I appreciate your view of the world, a place where great evil can exist, but also people like Mary, Tim, and Pete.

Thanks for stories that entice me to be more. The Husband enticed me to be that kind of man for my wife. The Good Guy enticed me to be a man of courage. Odd Thomas, on the other hand, has inspired me to make heavenly light and fluffy pancakes. I know you’re not sermonizing, but that’s probably why the tales move me the way they do.

I’m a new author; my debut from Tor (an imprint of Macmillan) just came out this October. I’m working like a madman to learn the craft and produce. And it’s wonderful to be able to see someone like you at the top of his game, writing these kinds of stories and sharing these kinds of characters. I hope, when I get to the end of my career (big or small), that I will have been able to deliver suspense, laughs, and goodness as you have.

Sincerely,

John Brown

And now I hope I can not only be the kind of author that delivers stories like Koontz, but also one who isn’t one whit behind in graciousness with my readers.

A few years ago I was going on and on about a couple of authors whose work I love. It drove Nellie nuts. But she finally got over the eye-rolling stage. At least I thought she’d put it aside. However, on that Christmas she gave me a 4×6 inch piece of material that looks like a Persian rug with votive candles and the names of those favorite authors on little cards that had been folded in half, tent style. She thought that was the best joke ever. Yeah, until she caught me praying in the basement. (Actually, I never prayed, dang it! Why does it take me seven years to think up these comebacks?!)

Of course, when I rushed back up stairs after having opened today’s package, she sighed. “I guess this means I gotta make a card for Koontz now, doesn’t it.” 

Oh, yeah. Votives for the man.

This Saturday is the FINAL scheduled book event for Servant of a Dark God. If you’ve been wanting to chat, have me sign your book, or get a signed book for someone for Christmas, this is the one to come to. Bring friends and family who are interested. We’ll have a good time. And if you don’t want to come for me, come for the B&N bookseller whose name is Shasta Way. Now, that’s a name!

Here’s the report of what happend on the Larry and John tour of Denver.

On the way out:

1. We met in Evanston, WY at 8:00 AM
2. On a lonely stretch of I-80 we passed a semi that was on FIRE. Didn’t stop because Larry and I wanted to see the driver burn.
3. Was freeze-dried in a parking lot in Rawlins by Arctic winds in the four seconds it took to open the car door, say “Holy schnitzel! It’s freezing,” and then run to the Subway. It was cold. COLD!
4. On another lonely stretch of I-80 we passed a truck driver out in that wind with a knife. He was down in the median trying to hack off the antlers of a bull elk that had obviously been hit by a vehicle.  His truck was slowly rolling forward. Someone had to be driving, but I didn’t see anyone.
5. Because it was soooo cold the snow didn’t stick. So in various stretches the wind would blow the snow across the road in long trails that looked like ribbons of fire or snakes. Totally awesome!
6. Then we started hitting stores all the way down to Denver–Cheyenne, Fort Collins, Boulder, etc. I can’t tell you how much I like Barnes & Noble booksellers. Everyone was happy to see us and nice to work with.
7. Oh, and Larry bought treats. Wal-Mart trail mix, cookies, and beef jerky. When he opened the beef jerky, he said, “Holy cow, did you just fart?” I had not. It was the jerky. You have been forewarned.

Other highlights:

1. A number of the stores ordered extra copies of our books for our driveby signings. But the Barnes & Noble in the Aurora Southlands Town Center beat them all hands down. They rolled out a hand truck stacked with books.
2. Had a great time in Loveland at the B&N there. Vivian Tapp was a peach with a Santa’s hat to boot.
3. We had a bunch of folks show up at the Lone Tree signing. Thanks to everyone there. I’ve forgotten all the names except that of James, the store’s fantasy nut.
4. Then we went out to dinner with a great crowd. Larry had a bunch of his interesting friends. I got to hang out at the other end of the table with my sister and her man Mark, Rachel Dryden, and Ken and Rachel Kao (who both do parkour–cool!!).

On the way back:

1. We almost died. You can read Larry’s version of the story here.
2. More of that fine smelling jerky and road crawling with snow snakes.

Larry and I will be in Lone Tree (South Denver) and Loveland Saturday, December 5th. Drop by and say hello, buy one of our books as a gift, or just show up with your Klingon outfit and gun.

John Brown events at Barnes & Noble

This was a fun interview with Donna of Fantasy Dreamer’s Ramblings.

Just got back from a wonderful trip with Larry Correia down to Phoenix. We did 2 signings and hit 23 bookstores in 1.5 days. Our new zipcode map GPS method rocks! Have three interesting things to report.

First, we have a great time at The Poisoned Pen, an independent bookstore in Scottsdale. Lori and the other two guys whose names I forgot (doh!) were wonderful hosts. We talked about our books, fielded questions, and then signed. Had a great time. A lot of laughing and good stories shared. If you’re ever in their area, you should stop by and check out the store.

It was also nice meeting Valerie Moore, a reader I met on Twitter, who makes her own beads. Cool thing is–she’s doing a new design inspired by the book called “The Grove.” Can’t wait to see what it looks like.

I also need to comment on Mysterious Galaxy, the store we went to in San Diego. Patrick and his crew were also wonderful hosts. This is also the first bookstore I’ve been into dedicated to science fiction and fantasy. The folks who showed up were hard core fans. We loved it. I hope I get to go back again and again.

BTW, anyone wanting to pick up signed copies can get them at either place while they last. I believe both stores do a lot of mail business as well.

Another comment along these lines. We noticed a dramatic difference between stores. Larry and I both agreed that the Barnes & Noble (Bookstar, which is a B&N store as well) and the independent stores (Poisoned Pen, Mysterious Galaxy) consistently showed the best customer service. They also consistently showed the most business sense. Kudos to them.  

Second, Larry had a bunch of gun owner friends show up to the signing and then invite us out to dinner the next night. We had a great time. Polite, good-natured, and fun. Of course, a number of them were carrying concealed weapons. And I’ll tell you what–never felt safer in my life.  Now, I know some people are going to say, hey, that’s just an accident waiting to happen and if any bad dudes show up you’re just more likely to get shot or have the gun stolen.

Um.

No.

These guys don’t just carry weapons. These guys live and breathe weapons. They customize guns. They shoot them and train with them in competitions. These guys know guns like I know my keyboard. I wish I could have remembered all their names–Chris, Hiram, Mark, the dude with the Hooters wife, and the other dude who drives for an armored truck company (and wears a kilt!), and about five others.

Thanks to Chris for a great dinner at Famous Dave’s!

I wish I could post pictures. I promised myself I take a camera on this trip. Dang it. Denver. I shall document Denver.

Finally,  I have to write about a guy in the Mesa Barnes & Noble where we were holding our informal signing. We were in the cafe. My great sister had brought rum cake muffins and everyone who came was eating them and talking. One of them asked me how I got the idea. So I told them the cow story and about the idea of humans being ranched for their souls. And just after I finished this a guy who had been reading behind us, a B&N customer, stands up and says, “Your book it true! Your book is true!” He had a beard and was all bug-eyed.

At first I thought he was joking.

Nope.

He said lizard men were ranching humans and I needed to read book xyz by author abc. Later he told my sister that the Bible showed they’ve interbred with humans and are taking our souls.

Lizard men… and all this time I thought it was the socialists that were going to get us.

Larry and I had talked earlier in the day about the demographics of our audiences. His audience was easy–red-state conservatives, military folks, & gun nuts. I expressed my trouble finding an easily identifiable demographic tag for my readers. But now I know–I got the crazies.

Just a reminder. Larry and I will be in the Phoenix area this week on book tour. If you’re available, we’d love to see you Thursday night at the Poisoned Pen or earlier that day at the informal Barnes & Noble meet-n-greet!

Folks have been asking and I’ve been thinking about a T-shirt. I want it to have potential to be a cool saying on its own (so people actually want it) as well as promo for the book. I know I want the title, but do we need anything else? I’d like your input.

OPTION 1: TITLE ONLY

Slap the title as it appears on the book on a black shirt. Font is brown or the green of what’s on the book’s cover.

OPTION 2: I AM NOT

I had someone say that the parents might be concerned if their kids were walking around with a shirt proclaiming they were servants of a dark god. Part of me says, yeah! Another part says, well, I guess I can see their point. The suggested solution was to add the words “I am not a” in front of the title in smaller font. It works. But it also feels like a copy cat of Dan Wells’ marvelous shirt which is just the title of his book.

OPTION 3: TITLE, SUBTITLE

In this version you get the bang of the title, but then you make it clear we’re talking about a book, not minions. So you have the title as above in big letters, then underneath or on top in smaller font you have:

• Read it!
• Eat. Sleep. Read.
• Rocks!
• An Epic Fantasy
• Book-o-thrills
• The humans are being ranched…
• It’s story time, kiddies…
• ??

So here’s where I need your help. Let me know which option you like best and if you have any ideas for option 3, please share them!!!