The Titan Robot Show

The first part scared the crap out of me. More here on their cool website: http://www.cyberstein.co.uk/

Oh, and remember the last monster created with a named that ended in stein? Not an auspicious beginning…

To allow my inner Swedish svelteness to manifest itself I’ve been doing some hiking and biking. I do my own Elmer Fudd biathalon in which I bike for a mighty 3 miles. Hike a hill interval style that I swear rises up at 90 degrees. Then go back to the bike and bike up another hill of the same size. And so I face the normal obstacles–inertia, rocks, mosquitoes, dump truck drivers who flirt with the idea of running me over. That sort of thing. But now I’ve got one more.

You know I’ve been trying to attract some crows and ravens. No luck yet. I’ve gone to plan Q which is probably what most people would do for plan A–just put up a bird feeder with cat food in it. Except I haven’t gotten around to erecting the whole apparatus. So no crows or ravens yet. But I have been able to attract the attention of a pair of hawks.

At first I thought they were protecting their nest. A pair of doughty parents. But I’ve looked about and can’t find any nest. Furthermore, they don’t always pull their stunt in the same area. And so I’m beginning to suspect they’re toying with me.

Here’s what happens. I go on my hike and while I’m walking in place at the beginning of a new interval, looking out over the magnificent mountain vistas and contemplating important things like cheese, one of these hooligans will sneak dive bomb me from behind. At the last moment the bird will pull up making a huge WAAAHOOOF sound with its wings that sends my heart racing even faster than it already is. It’s like someone taking a huge broom and swinging it at speed three inches from the back of your head.

Yesterday, I saw them off to the right at about 100 yards, calling out, making that piercing cry. I thought—ha! they’re over there. But THEY weren’t. It was only one of them. The other guy was between me and the sun. And so I’m hiking along minding my own business and WHAAAHOOOF!  I just about had a heart attack.

I’ve caught one diving at me once. It’s an amazing thing to see a bird of that size hurtling from the sky straight at your head. And I would welcome such an experience again. But they just won’t perform. No, they’ve got to blindside me. 

This week I’m going to get a picture of the low-budget criminals and post it here.

For many years people have been predicting the death of literature because the stats on the reading public  show fewer and fewer books are being sold because fewer people are reading. For an author it’s a bit depressing. However, you might find this article provides some hope: http://www.newsweek.com/id/136961.

Generation R (R Is for Reader)
The book business may be flat, but there’s at least one bright spot: the booming sales of books for teens–and no, it’s not all Harry Potter… Contrary to the depressing proclamations that American teens aren’t reading, the surprising truth is they are reading novels in unprecedented numbers. Young-adult fiction (ages 12-18) is enjoying a bona fide boom with sales up more than 25 percent in the past few years, according to a Children’s Book Council sales survey…”

If that trend holds, it means we’ll have a fine wave of readers to replace all of us who die off, and then some. Someone praise JK Rowling for Hogwarts and for awakening pleasure reading in the hearts of children (and adults).

And take it as a lesson. The future is in the next generation. Perhaps reading provides just as much entertainment as anything else. The kids just have to discover it.

Hopefully, Nellie will be doing her part to awaken that joy in the hearts of the marvelous youth of our small town. As I wrote before, she’s going to be following the steps of Nancie Atwell who has done amazing things for 20+ years up in Maine.

http://www.amazon.com/Middle-Understanding-Writing-Learning-Workshop/dp/0867093749
http://www.c-t-l.org/about.html

It’s all about reading and writing for the intrinsic joy of reading and writing. Only 15 minutes of her 65 minute class will be spent in traditional lecture. The rest is for the kids to read and write. This isn’t study hall. It’s rigorous. And again, it follows the principles I learned in my last 20 years of teaching and learning how to write.

I cannot wait to see what happens this fall!

Yes, a weapon in development. Add this to the fart bomb, the scream, and The Rods from God and you’ll see where the future of the military is going to be very interesting. Here’s a list of interesting weapons.

Yeah, watch this video. It would scare the crap out of me to do this. But, man, wouldn’t it be a ride?

The deer came through this morning and ate the peanuts and cheese.

The good news is it appears the crows actually heard the weird call mix yesterday and had been scoping the place out for some time. My oldest saw them on the east. I saw them on the west. Then yesterday evening after writing the last post the pair of crows returned and did some acrobatics down the hill maybe 50 yards from the house.

Today I found some calls from the Crow Busters site. I created a new playlist using the Rally, Attention, and Look Here calls. I set out a pie tin, a bit further from the house with a few Sun Chips and a handful of large bird seed (dried corn, sunflower, etc.) in it. Then I played the calls for about 20 minutes.

Results: Nellie said she wanted to throw herself off the balcony. I’m telling you, these birds would not get the golden ticket on Avian Idol.

Some people must think I’m nuts. It appears crows can cause quite a bit of damage and have in other parts of the country. The folks at Crow Busters have listed their litany of reasons for hunting the birds. But they’re scarce where I live, so I’m not too worried.

Results of today’s efforts: nothing.

Now here’s something cool I didn’t know: lightening apparently shows up above volcanoes when they’re erupting. How cool is that?

Here’s a picture of the Chaiten volcano in Southern Chile.

Here’s a
bit more.

I decided to put my money where my mouth is. Or at least some peanuts and cheese. I want to make some friends with a couple of crows or ravens.

I’m a little hesitant. One or two buddies, okay. A freaking tribe swirling around the house, pooping on man and beast, or, horrors, tormenting the cats and demanding food–well, that’s something to write about, isn’t it?

Zing.

Besides, I’ve only ever seen a pair. How many friends can they have?

So I braved my fears and gathered six raven and crow calls from the internet. Then I put them in a play list, stuck my speakers in my office window, and began broadcasting crow. The mixture probably said something like, “Hey, there sweet momma, get off my branch you hawk turd!, can somebody pass me a napkin?” It’s got to pique their curiosity at least.

With the calls running I set out some cheese and peanuts at the edge of the lawn out our basement door. It appears these folks eat anything and tend to like fatty food. When I go to Logan next I’ll get some potato chips.

Results: 

1. Three buzzards swooped up the slope and passed by.

2. The herd of cattle down the hill and across the street all stood and stared up at the house.

3. One of the cats came around to see what the commotion was all about.  Stuck its head through the deck railings to get a look down where the sounds were coming from.  

I played the calls all during lunch. Nothin. So I turned them off.

At about 3:40 PM I set out for my hike. Put out the speakers again and departed. On my way back down the hill at about 4:40 PM I saw the crow pair (or maybe they’re ravens) flying up the hill about 200 yards south of the house. They were dinking around in the air not trying to get anywhere fast.

Hustled down and checked out the peanuts and cheese. Nothin. No sign of any visitors coming to investigate. Will try again tomorrow.

After watching two of Roslings’ presentations at TED, I had to find his website. Or at least the gapminder website. You’re going to love noodling around with the free tools out there.

I just downloaded a 1024×768 version of this today. What a fabulous wallpaper from tor.com that I can cycle through my screen saver image program!

Iron Man was wonderful, every bit of what the trailers promised–adventure, humor, and a huge dose of gosh-wow. Of course, the idea of military exoskeletons are not new. It’s been in science fiction for a long time. More recently, Dan Brown used the idea in his thriller Act of War. In fact, if you think about it, it becomes clear that airplanes, ships, and tanks are all exoskeletons. So this is all old hat. But when did we ever need a brand-spanking new idea to have a wonderful and new story? What’s important is what the do with the idea–the characters, problem, plot, and setting. And Iron Man does a wonderful job of imagining new twists on all these parts of story.

*

In other news, it appears the future is not so far away. The military is going to be using robot bugs for recon.

British defence giant BAE Systems is creating a series of tiny electronic spiders, insects and snakes that could become the eyes and ears of soldiers on the battlefield, helping to save thousands of lives.

Prototypes could be on the front line by the end of the year, scuttling into potential danger areas such as booby-trapped buildings or enemy hideouts to relay images back to troops safely positioned nearby.

Soldiers will carry the robots into combat and use a small tracked vehicle to transport them closer to their targets.

Then they would swarm into the building and relay images back to the soldiers’ hand-held or wrist-mounted computers, warning them of any threats inside.

I’m all for saving lives and projecting power while we’re doing it. And robo spies are just cool. Except, of course, when they’re used against you…

Humm, zing!

Get free e-books and wallpapers of great books. You can get a cool Bob Eggelton right now. Go here: http://www.tor.com/

I just did.

BTW, here’s some cool stuff on how covers are chosen and what makes them work.

Part 1

Part 2

A huge part of science fiction and fantasy is the art. I’m always amazed at how powerful a cover can be. In fact, I remember buying the Thomas Covenant series because of those covers. I hated the hero. He drove me nuts. But those covers (and the other cool things) made up for it. So when I saw Isaac Stewart’s cover reviews, I had one of those V-8 moments. Of course, there should be reviews of cover art. There must be. And these are the most insightful AND funny reviews of cover art I’ve ever seen.

I always thought mongooses (or is it mongeese?) were cool. I mean, they kill and eat snakes. What’s not to like about that? But it appears they’ve got more than one trick up their sleeves.

Mongoose-robot duo sniff out landmines on the cheap

Here’s more at NewScientist if you’ve got a sub.

I LOVE TED.

No, I’m not coming out of any closet. I’m talking the annual Technology, Entertainment, Design (TED) forum. It started out (in 1984) as a conference bringing together people from those three worlds. Since then its scope has become ever broader.The annual conference now brings together the world’s most fascinating thinkers and doers, who are challenged to give the talk of their lives (in 18 minutes).

For example, here’s Richard Dawkins’ “Queerer than we can suppose: the strangeness of science.”

Or here’s Hans Rosling’s “Debunking third-world myths with the best stats you’ve ever seen” and his New insights on poverty and life around the world.

Or how about Howard Rheingold’s “Way-new collaboration”There is, if done well, very few things as stimulating as an excellent speech. Thank you TED for providing a way to revive this marvelous genre by sharing it on the internet.

Go to TED. But beware: you may end up unable to stop listening to one fascinating idea after another.

One of my personal flaws is my monkey fascination. I am interested in too many things. For example, when I was at the university I wanted to major in English, History, Dutch, Art, and graduate with Honors.

Um, no. That didn’t work. They finally wrote me a letter and said 220 credits was more than enough. And I would graduate the next semester with whatever degree I could cobble together.

Of course, then I started my Masters of Accountancy and Information Systems program. (Some people never learn.)

When I was in my Masters program I started an investment club, wrote fiction, and wanted to start a FSBO home business as well as a write a non-fiction book with 4 collaborators. Oh yeah, and I was supposed to be Mr. Mom with two kids at the time while my wife put me through school.

All this did was stress my marriage to the point that my wife was considering giving me the pink slip. Of course, being so involved in so many projects I had no idea I was in danger of being layed off.

No, over the years I’ve learned that simplicity and focus is divine. It’s good to say no to the million things that vie for my attention, even the many noble causes. It’s smart to put a lot of effort into a few things. Become an expert in one area.

In business, I’ve watched some friends focus, focus, focus. They’ve put in their time and have become very successful at what they do. They’ve worked hard. . . at one thing. On the other hand, you have those of us who haven’t yet been able to give up that danged monkey brain. (Although I will give myself credit–for the last five years I’ve been trying to reduce. Trying to focus. I’m failing spectacularly. But I figure sooner or later my efforts will pay off.)

The multitasking myth shows up not only in the general activities we engage in, but also in learning. I heard this NPR story on myth of multitasking and thought I’d share.

Maybe less really is more.

“Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.”  –Socrates

An aquaintance of mine is in Cambodia and Thailand. Luckily she’s taking pictures. Check this one out. Is that not marvelous? Does that not belong in a story?

More here.

I’ve wanted a cool animal friend for some time. And I mean a friend, not a pet. Pets you have to take care. Friends come, delight you, then leave. And lest you think I’m a meanie, I’ve got five cats that came with the house we moved into a few years ago. Love ‘em, but I don’t need any more pets.

But a friend, now that’s different. Up here in the sticks we’ve got lots of interesting candidates: foxes, coyotes, raccoons, neighbor dogs that get into your garage and abscond with nifty chew toys like your expensive new hiking boots.

I’ve always wanted a bird gang as friends (I think it’s an unfortunate Disney heroine-envy syndrome). We’ve got eagles and magpies up here. But we also have crows and ravens. And ravens, according to some sources, are as smart as wolves.  In fact, I’m so taken with the bird gang idea that I’m using it in the series I’ve titled LORD OF BONES. The hero has two raven friends who will be characters in their own rights.

So you can imagine my delight when I read the article on NPR and saw this.

Crocodiles scare the crap out of me. In fact, I think they’re the scariest things on the planet. Gators make a close second. But they aren’t just monsters to humans. It appears gators have got blood that’s an infection’s worst nightmare.

Gator blood kills

So I predict right here that in the not too distant future we’re going to have a product called “Gator Cream” and it will rival the wonderful Neosporin.

This geeked me out today.

THE internet could soon be made obsolete. The scientists who pioneered it have now built a lightning-fast replacement capable of downloading entire feature films within seconds.

At speeds about 10,000 times faster than a typical broadband connection, “the grid” will be able to send the entire Rolling Stones back catalogue from Britain to Japan in less than two seconds.

The latest spin-off from Cern, the particle physics centre that created the web, the grid could also provide the kind of power needed to transmit holographic images; allow instant online gaming with hundreds of thousands of players; and offer high-definition video telephony for the price of a local call.

Can you imagine that game world? Can you imagine a world that’s an actual world? Where adventurers set out to find fortune and encounter all sorts of nasties being played by hundreds of thousands of other people around the globe?

Dude.

More here.

Zing, Baby!

So you go into your classy high-rise establishment.

Then you sit down to observe the wide outdoors.

You have to love the Europeans. No, this is not an April Fools gag. More at Snopes.com

Of course, it’s only a matter of time before this is used in a thriller.

schnook, schnorrer, megillah, meshuga, schlump…

Who can resist such words? I plan on working at least one of these into my conversation today.

I’ve copied from last week’s Wordsmith.org emails.

A language is the soul of its people. This is nowhere illustrated more profoundly than in the Yiddish language, the language of Jews of eastern and central Europe and their descendants. A tongue full of wit and charm, Yiddish embodies deep appreciation of human behavior in all its colorful manifestations. The word Yiddish comes from German Judisch meaning Jewish. But it is not the same as Hebrew, even though it is written in Hebrew script…

…Many of the everyday English language words such as bagel, klutz, and kibitz are terms from Yiddish. This week we’ll look at a few other Yiddishisms that have enriched the English language.

schnook (shnook) noun

A stupid, easily deceived person.

[From Yiddish shnuk (snout) or from German schnucke (a small sheep).]

-Anu Garg (words at wordsmith.org)

“A gun-toting schnook became an embarrassing crook when he robbed
  a Spokane dollar store Sunday. Seriously, if you’re going to commit
  a Class A felony, you might as well rob a Class A joint.”
  Frank Sennett; Dollar-Store Thief Bucks Common Sense; Spokesman Review
  (Washington); Mar 9, 2007.

schnorrer (SHNOR-uhr) noun

One who habitually takes advantage of others’ generosity,
  often through an air of entitlement.

[From Yiddish, from German schnurren (to purr, hum, or whir), from the sound of a beggar's musical instrument.]

megillah (meh-GIL-uh) noun

A long, tedious account.

[From Yiddish megile (scroll), from Hebrew megillah, from galal (to roll).
The term alludes to the length of the text in the Book of Esther which is read in its entirety, twice, during Purim, a Jewish festival.]

-Anu Garg (words at wordsmith.org)

“But the obvious challenge was to go through the whole megillah — to
  begin with the Andante in C Major, which Mozart wrote when he was five,
  and proceed to the bitter end, the Requiem.”
  Alex Ross; The Storm of Style; The New Yorker; Jul 24, 2006

meshuga or meshugga (muh-SHOOG-uh) adjective

Crazy; stupid.

[From Yiddish meshuge, from Hebrew meshugga.]

Today’s word in Visual Thesaurus: http://visualthesaurus.com/?w1=meshuga

-Anu Garg (words at wordsmith.org)

“Plenty of hip-hoppers want to be considered insane, but only Paul Barman
  wants to be known as meshuga.”
  David Segal; The Weirder, the Better; The Washington Post; Jun 25, 2000.

schlump (shlump) noun

A dull or slovenly person.

[From Yiddish shlumperdik (unkempt, sloppy).]

-Anu Garg (words at wordsmith.org)

“‘You don’t want to dress up too much, but you don’t want to be
  a schlump,’ says Michael Kors.”
  Hal Rubenstein; Terrific Style by Age, by Size, by Shape, by Color;
  In Style (New York); Aug 2006.

Or so it seems…

Even for as little as $5 per day.

Such is the fabulous headline for the following news report.

That’s when the man raised a five pound log of frozen prosciutto over his head, presumably to whack Scola.

Luckily, Scola had his own frozen pig product on hand…

Read more here.

Life is beautiful.

Zing, baby!