Your input please

Dear Readers,

I currently have two options for opening BAD PENNY, my thriller that I’ll be sending to my agent next week. I’m looking, of course, for the most interesting first page. Please imagine you’re in a book store or browsing online. Tell me which option you find most interesting and by how much (a little more, a lot more).

Thanks!! 🙂

OPTION 1

The two men had been keeping back, playing it safe, giving the woman plenty of room on the deserted interstate. It was just after five a.m., the sun still about an hour off. Hardly a soul out here. Just them and her driving in the dark, the two men waiting for her to make her mistake.

Jesus Goroza, the man with tats running over his limbs like demons, thought she was FBI.  Dan Meese, the driver, the man with the prison scar on his neck, wasn’t so sure. Wouldn’t the FBI have sent backup at the first sign of trouble? Of course, maybe she’d convinced her bosses she was clear, and they’d pulled back the cavalry. If so, she hadn’t been very smart.

Up ahead the woman slowed then took the exit to a small out-in-the-middle-of-nowhere Utah town called Coalville. In a big city, there would have been cars. There would have been some bustle. There would have been witnesses.

There were no witnesses here. Not on these streets.

There were hardly any homes in this town. Meese figured there were at most a few dozen, and they were all strung out along a main road that stretched for what looked like ten miles. All of them were dark. A bunch of hick farmers dreaming about cows.

A brightly lit Best Western hotel and a Texaco gas station stood on one side of the interstate. A lone Sinclair gas station stood on the other. The woman came to a stop then accelerated up and across the overpass toward the Sinclair gas station on the other side, the one that you couldn’t see well from the interstate. The one she obviously thought might give her cover.

“Bingo,” Jesus said.

In a big city, the Sinclair would have been ready for business. In this no-nothing town, it was dark and locked. The pumps, of course, were on. And the station’s sign with a green dinosaur on a white background towered above the place and shone out into the fading night.

But there was no attendant standing guard over the cash and cigarettes to observe the woman. No one to see her stop and start the pump. No one to see her go try the bathroom door around the side. No one to see the two men pull in just a few seconds later.

Meese said, “Looks like the offerings to your White Lady paid off.”

Jesus pulled the semi-automatic from the glove box.  “I told you she wanted mescal.”

Mescal offered up in a glass five days in a row along with prayer and cigarette smoke blown into the Lady’s skeleton face.

“They want her alive,” Meese said of the woman they were following.

“She’ll be alive,” Jesus said.

OPTION 2

Frank Shaw sat facing the owner of Cowboy Donut in a back office heaped with stacks of paper in yet another job interview that was starting to swirl the toilet.  Trying to get a straight job as an ex-con was a lovely experience. Kind of like being dragged behind a bus.

No matter how tidy you looked or how sharp your resume was, it all came down to two questions: “Have you ever been convicted of a crime?” and “What were you in for?”

Frank knew it would be stupid to lie about either. First of all, he was trying to go straight. Second, any employer who didn’t have a carrot for a brain was going to run a background check. So there was no use trying to hide.

The sun-wrinkled owner of the Rock Springs, Wyoming doughnut establishment was one Ms. Mary Rogers. She was probably in her fifties and had two-tone hair that seemed to take its inspiration from a badger—all bleached up on top and dark underneath.

Ms. Mary had just asked the question, and Frank had dropped his bomb—voluntary manslaughter, a security job gone bad. He’d been protecting the wrong kind of noun for the wrong kind of people, which led to seven fine years in prison.

Now came the fun bus part, the Judas-Priest-there’s-a-criminal-sitting-across-the-desk-from-me part. First interviews were like first dates. And Frank had basically told this date he had an Ebola monkey virus that would make her eyes bleed—would she now like a kiss? That, of course, was yummy to women everywhere.

Ms. Mary narrowed her eyes. “What else am I going to find on your RAP sheet?”

“That’s it,” Frank said. “Just the one unfortunate incident.”

“Murder is a pretty big incident.”

“Manslaughter,” he corrected. “Not murder.”

She made a noncommittal sound and looked down to study his resume a bit more like maybe something new would pop up there.

1491, 1493, and Greek Gods

New Revelations About America

A common idea taught about the Indians (and, yes, it appears when you can’t simply refer to their tribe, most prefer that term to “American Indian,” especially those in South and Central America) is that they lived in such harmony with the land, that they trod so lightly upon it, that the landscape showed hardly any sign of their passing. This is, after all, what we were shown in Disney’s Pocahontas and James Cameron’s more recent Avatar, isn’t it?  

Many of us were also brought up to believe that there really weren’t that many Indians around anyway.  They were subsistence societies. There certainly were no cities comparable to those in Europe at the time. And especially not in places like the Amazon or Boliva.

We were taught that the Indians traveled here by walking to America across the Bering Strait land bridge that stretched from Russia to Alaska during the ice age around 10,000 BC. When they arrived, the proceeded to eat a tremendous amount of meat, killing off all the mega fauna like mammoths.

We were taught other things. But it appears that many of these things have recently been shown to be false. Sometimes dramatically so.

For example, the Indians transformed their landscapes, tens of thousands of square miles of it, very often through burning, but also through other ingenious ways.

There were far more Indians in 1491 than most folks know. Recent research suggests that Central Mexico was the most densely populated place on earth at the time, “with more than twice as many people per square mile than China or India.” The total population of the Americas in 1491, by some estimates, was between 90-112 million people, meaning that MORE people lived in the Americas than in Europe.

Finally, it appears that the Indians were here twenty to thirty thousand years ago. They were here when Europe north of Paris was still uninhabitable and mostly covered by glaciers!

Charles Mann describes these and a number of other fascinating findings in his book 1491: New Revelations of the Americas Before Columbus. He relays the information in such an engaging style that I found myself picking the book up at every chance. When I was finished, I wanted more.

Luckily, in 1493: Uncovering The New World Columbus Created Mann continues his history lesson. Except instead of focusing on the surprising things we’ve learned about the Indians in the last two decades, he focuses on the surprising impacts, both biological and financial, of linking the Western and Eastern hemispheres together. It’s the biggest event in the world, Mann suggests, since the dinosaurs died. Mann suggests that Columbus didn’t discover a new world–his voyage created one.

The first part of the book examines the effect of the exchanges across the Atlantic (microbes  and tobacco). The next part focuses on the effect of the exchanges across the Pacific (silk, corn, and pirates). The third part shows the role of the exchange in the Agricultural and Industrial revolutions (potatoes, guano, and rubber).  The final part examines the consequences of the huge shift in populations caused by the Atlantic slave trade (Maroons, mixed-marriages, and freedom). As with 1492, the insights are both surprising and fascinating.

If you like history, if you liked Guns, Germs, & Steel, then I think you will love these two books.

EDIT: I just ran across a fabulous Doug Fabrizio Radio West interview with Charles Mann about 1493 called  The World Columbus Created.  Listen and enjoy!

Divine Yogurt

For years eating a serving of sweetened yogurt was like eating a box of Milk Duds (20 grams of sugar) or a Milky Way candy bar (35 grams of sugar). Yes, the sweetened yogurts have that much sugar. The only way to avoid eating literally like a kid in a candy store was to purchase plain yogurt and add some fruit or a squirt of honey. And, no, I will not consider eating yogurt sweetened with Splenda or Nutrasweet.  Artificial sweeteners make me gag. As far as I’m concerned, they are abominations that ruin the taste of everything they touch.

So for many years I enjoyed my mix of plain yogurt and various add-ins. However, to my joy, I recently discovered a sweetened yogurt with only 15 grams of sugar (about as much as you find in a large banana) that tastes divine. It’s sweetened with real sugar and honey. And the mouth feel is sooooooo smooth. I’m sure this is because, unlike all the other yogurt manufacturers, these guys realized that, duh, fat actually makes things taste good and isn’t the  evil thing we’ve made it out to be. In just two bites it became my favorite sweetened yogurt. It’s called The Greek Gods Traditional Greek Yogurt. I’ve found another version—the vanilla honey—that only has 5 grams of sugar.

Be aware that despite its name, this yogurt does NOT have the high protein content of other Greek style yogurts such as Brown Cow Greek Yogurt with 23 grams. Furthermore, not all the flavors have the low sugar content. Their blueberry and strawberry flavors, for example, have 35 grams. So check the labels first, and then treat yourself to yogurt that will have you savoring every bite.

When I eat yogurt, it will still mostly be the plain Greek style with mixers. But when I want a special treat, you know I’ll be getting some from The Greek Gods.

EDIT: 9/6/12 I now feel like Jerry Seinfeld in the episode when they found out the fat free frozen yogurt really wasn’t fat free. All the other yogurts I was looking at had serving sizes of 1 cup. The Greek Gods folks thought 1/2 a cup was the right size. That means that this super amazing low sugar yogurt had 30 grams of sugar per serving! It’s like eating a Snickers! I’m so disillusioned. Alas.

First draft of Bad Penny finished

Folks, this book was a blast to write. I feel like I did when I wrote “Loose in the Wires.” Here are my stats.

  • Pre-draft work: 135 hours
  • First draft: 252 hours
  • Total: 387 hours
  • Words: 93,131
  • Words per hour for draft: 362 (holy crap, that’s glacier speed!)
  • Chapters: 29
  • Words per chapter: ~3,100

I’m surprised at my drafting speed on this one.  I’m usually between 500-600 words per hour. Of course, there were a few spots where I ran into huge gaping holes in my invention.  For example, at the end of June I finished the climax. But I couldn’t write the last two chapters, which usually take no time at all, because I realized I knew nothing about the criminal justice system.  I knew TV generalities, but not the kind of detail I need.  Not enough to envision the last 5,000 words.  So all my writing time in July was spent researching.  There were a couple other invention stops earlier on.  So that’s my excuse.  Let’s hope the next one goes faster so I’m not totally embarassed.

If I were full time, I could have finished this in 10 weeks. As it was, I started drafting in January.  My goal is to write two books a year. I’m not going to make it at this speed.  Let’s see how book 2 goes.

Here are my next steps. I’m going to let BP sit for three to four weeks to cool.  I’ll then read it and revise.  Then it goes out to my readers. I hope to be shopping this one around by the end of September.

In the meantime, I’ve already been noodling around with the ideas for book two in this series. My goal is to finish the working outline while this one’s cooling off.

Spider-man, Dark Knight, Downton, and Brave

The Amazing Spider-man

The Amazing Spider-man is one of the most enjoyable superhero movies I’ve seen in the last ten, heck, fifteen years.  It rocks.

Is it as good as any in Christopher Nolan’s Batman series? Yes, but it never becomes dark.  And in many ways I think it might be better.

How about Iron Man? Oh, yeah.  Not as witty, but just as funny.

Sherlock HolmesSpiderman 2?  Yes and yes. And I don’t care what you say, Sherlock Holmes is a superhero.  He can’t bend metal with his mind, but almost. He’s certainly as much a superhero as, say, Black Widow.

What made this Spider-man so good?

The story tells the story of how Peter Parker becomes Spider-man.  I know, we’ve seen it before, but unlike other superhero movies, this one, like Iron Man and Sherlock Holmes, actually chooses more realism and less cartoon.  There were so many unexpected real moments and details that I couldn’t help but believe.  There were Parker’s boxers hanging out when he gets beat up, his reactions when he’s trying to find his hero outfit, and the fact that he performs his derring-do while toting about a teen’s most trusted gear–a backpack and cell phone!  He fails at many things, just like a teen would in this situation, which is so refreshing–this is not yet another all-powerful superhero!  

Like so many superhero movies, this one features another mad scientist with mad science.  It’s still the stuff of comic books after all. But what I really enjoyed were the moments of comedy, the delightful romance, and the fact that Spider-man is way more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen him portrayed.  The movie kept delivering pleasant surprise after pleasant surprise.  Towards the end, it all works together to honestly earn a swell of emotion in a scene which I won’t reveal here and spoil for you.  

Just know that if you want to see a movie full of action, drama, and fun, you’ll want to watch this one.

The Dark Knight Rises

I have been looking forward to the last Christopher Nolan Batman for quite some time, and The Dark Knight Rises delivers. 

After taking the fall in the last movie for Harvey Dent, Batman/Bruce Wayne goes into reclusive retirement.  But we all know what happens when you stop minding the wheel.  A new villain shows up named Bane, and very soon Gotham is reeling.  Which means Batman needs to come back.  But Batman ain’t the Batman he used to be.

This Batman and the recent Spider-man have taught me that I enjoy heroes that can be beaten soundly.  I like heroes that can and do lose.  They are so much more interesting than those who always seem to pull it out. 

There’s a lot of cool action in this movie.  Batman has a cool new toy.  There are a number of well-executed plot twists.  And I think I enjoyed the slow reveal of Bane’s back story about as much or more than I have for any villain.  But I think my favorite part is at the end when Batman makes his sacrifice.  I know the movie had to end as it does, but I almost wish we didn’t have the last five minutes because it undermined that incredibly powerful note for me.  Yes, I’m being intentionally obscure to avoid spoilers.  Whether you agree with me or like the movie with the last five minutes added on (as my wife did), if you like big action flicks, you don’t want to miss this one.

Downton Abbey season 2

About nine months ago I reviewed Downton Abbey, a BBC miniseries that aired on PBS. The first season is set in the fictional Downton Abbey and follows the lives of the aristocratic Crawley family and their servants. The stories take place over the time period that starts with the sinking of the Titanic in April 1912 to the outbreak of the First World War on 4 August 1914.

The main story line running through those episodes is the fact that the Crawley family must give up the estate to a distant relation because they have no male heir.  But it wasn’t just about the aristocrats.  One of the most delightful aspects of the series is that it also featured the refreshing stories of various servants. Some were funny. Some pulled at your heart strings. Some were tragic.

Well, Downton is back with a second season that you can get on Netflix if you missed it on PBS. The events span the first world war. Some of those we met in season one go to war; some stay at the estate.  Other new folks mix in.  What’s constant is that the wonderful storytelling continues.  As a family, we enjoyed all of the characters, but I must say that Maggie Smith (who played Professor McGonagall in the Harry Potter series) seems to get a majority of the best lines as the Dowager Countess.  We looked forward to every minute she was on the screen. 

This is a fabulous series.  If you like Pride & Prejudice or Cranford, you will love watching the stories of Downton Abbey.

Brave

I’m just about out of time, but let me just say that if you’re looking for an enjoyable family movie, you need to watch Brave.  It’s set in the highlands of Scotland in the 10th century and tells the story of Princess Merida who doesn’t want to marry, even if it means war with the other clans.  To change her mother’s mind, Merida turns to a witch for a potion.  Of course, potions never go well, do they, and the kingdom and lives of those Merida loves are soon put at stake.  The movie focuses on the mother and daughter, with the father providing comic relief.  There are plenty of laffs, some parts that will put younger viewers on the edge of their seats, and a wise message for parents and children alike.